What makes John Doe who he is? What about Jane?
A lot of people argue the Nurture vs. Nature theory.
I don’t chose one side more than the other. But I do believe, it ultimately comes down to choices made by yourself, how could you argue that?
My childhood and most of my teenage years were not the best. My mom has many mental health issues, and my dad is an alcoholic/drug addict. In my younger years I grew up with my parents fighting constantly, and the cops being at our house was a common occurrence. As I got older, my dad left, and I began to realize how much my mom was really at fault too. As soon as my dad left, she turned on me. Many nights I had to call the police on her because of her actions. An example would be me being locked in my room sitting up against the door to keep it shut because I didn’t have a lock on it and her stabbing it with a chefs knife trying to get ahold of me. Why? Because we had been joking around a few minutes earlier and I tried to tickle her, she immediately turned on me. Money was always a problem, we hardly ever had food on the table because my mom would buy things for herself before she would feed myself and her, somehow, she never was hungry though.
For quite a few years after my dad left I struggled with depression, and self harm. That was probably part of genetics due to my mothers nature; however, I didn’t let that turn me into her. I fought, and continue to fight through it. Enough of that.
Now on the other hand; I have this friend. Always the friend right?
Anyway, her life was much different than mine while she was growing up. Her parents were still together, she grew up in a nice house, and had pretty much anything she could ever want. She never went without.
However, she too struggled with depression, self harm, and even anorexia at one point. Her family immediately got her help.
I can’t say much more on the subject because I clearly don’t know her life like I know mine.
Whats the point? The point is this.
Statistics would suggest that Person “A”, myself, would be the one to turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with the bad situations. It would also suggest that Person “B”, my friend, would be the one to have their life together, even with the struggles she faced.
The reality is this:
While I may not have my life completely figured out yet (who does?), I am definitely not that person statistics say I could be. On the contrary, my friend is the person that I “statistically” should be.
Why do I say that?
Here’s the difference (keep in mind we are both under the age of 21 and im one year younger):
Me: No arrests
Her: Two Felonies and One Misdemeanor
Me: no children
Her: one child
Me: no drugs or alcohol
Her: drinking when she can, drugs even more often
Me: over two years in the military and in college, struggling to find a job
Her: had a job literally handed to her, no college at all (been out of high school for 3 years)
Me: Struggling to live on my own
Her: still living with her parents
Me: bought my own car
Her: has had two (one brand new) given to her
Me: pay for all bills
Her: all hers are paid
Me: Nothing to do with gangs
Her: that’s all she hangs with
Moving on. But before I do so I want to make it very clear that I do not by any means hate her. Disagree with some of her choices? Of course, I care about her.
Now. The thing I find odd here is that, at least to me, it seems that the first three points should be switched around.
Yes, there is a bit of nurture v nature in this but I believe a high portion on this lies on your own choices and when it’s time to grow up and make yourself better, I don’t believe you should tear yourself down.
My challenge to you:
Make yourself a better person.
If you have someone that brings you down, let them go.
Have a bad habit? Kick it.
Been procrastinating about something? Do it.
As long as its legitimately beneficial to you, do it!
Opinions are welcome.
This post was kind of on a whim, I hope you enjoyed it and it provoked some thought.
*Never Give Up Hope*